When Breath Becomes Air

By Aryaman Kumar

I was walking in darkness. I didn’t dare think about it, because then I would drown.
And if I started to drown, I know I wouldn’t be able to save myself.

Breathe.
Was all I could do. I was a ghost with a beating heart.

All around me, was the abyss of nothing. Yet, in the nothingness, there was everything. Every sort of pain.

The inescapable frozen claws of fear gripped me constantly, and I felt the cold, cruel, yet peaceful wave of emptiness flow over me.

Breathe.

I don’t know why. I don’t know why I kept walking aimlessly.

All I knew was
Breathe.

Why was I even breathing?
I collapsed, a single tear falling off my face and onto the destitute ground.
Until I saw the light.

Breathe.

The light was warm, and it chased away the demons that lurked in the shadows.It dried my tears, and sewed the pieces of my heart together.
Thanks to the light, I finally had a reason to

Breathe.
~

{ Title inspired by non-fiction autobiographical book written by Paul Kalanithi. }

AfterMath.

By Aryaman Kumar

Tears roll down my eyes,
As I sit under starry skies.
The stars shine, in the deep black sky
I sit and stare, travelling anywhere
My mind’s a mess, for its under distress
Those memories hurt, as the mind crumbles.
All this serves to make me humble.

As I recollect my faults.
From those deep, deep vaults
I miss you still, my heart isn’t still.
It breaks and tears, along my stay
I do still cry though I’ve lost my way.
I do miss you still, and I’ve done this before.
I’ll break myself as ever more.

Thunder strikes
The skies break
The rains begin, with a brake
Even nature stares.
Ever all human and we make mistakes,
Only to lament after we’ve lost our stake.

The heart is beaten black and blue
The mind has vanished askew
The soul is lonely, pale and stale.
For it’s shut its doors on life and ale

I’ve grown to try and escape
But alas I can’t let go of my mistakes
Seeking redemption on every door
Will you but not answer my call ?
The promises made , will be kept
Tis for that , I have wept.

Feelings of disappointment pain and betrayal 
Words said with out scale,
Meaningless as they are.
They still strike without care.
And I look beyond the valley
And fade away.