By Sara Sharma
We had our eyes set on the target. Our past six hundred and sixty-six failures laid heavy on our minds. We had own own doubts and fears. I know Sam was gradually losing hope and starting to regret buying ‘A Stud’s Guide to Summoning Satan’ from that shady cult but at that time for Sam love of my life in exchange for my soul seemed to be a pretty good deal. As for me I was enjoying my time here . This love quest helped me take my mind off those screaming souls back home. I was getting bored after torturing those poor souls in the fiery pits of hell so this sudden request of matchmaking served as a good pastime. This time our plan was to shoot Sam’s love with the Cupid’s arrow which I had stol-borrowed without permission from the Cupid himself.
So here we were watching Sam’s crush from behind the bushes. This reminded me of my teenage days, falling in love with every passing guy and girl, the heartbreak, the fear of dying alone as a virgin. Well I’m an immortal so I’m not dying but I’m still a virgin. Sam’s love quest has lit a fire in me, it has once again made me want to fall in love.
“Mr. Satan if you would kindly snap out of the dream world of yours and focus on the task here it would be great.”
Oh boy, these earthlings cannot show any gratitude. Here I am helping him and he shows me this attitude.
“Listen to me you ungrateful human. I risked my life, my job just so I could stea-borrow this arrow and help you live a long happy life with your love but if you show me this attitude I will drag you down to hell, tie you on one of the cheap ropes, roast you and feed you to my helpers. So shut that hole of yours and let me work my magic.”
Nice, I still got it. To think I almost forgot the satisfaction a fear stricken face gives me.
“I… uh.. I am sorry Mr. Satan you are the supreme evil spirit and to think i shouted at you! I am a fool please forgive me. I am sor— oh my God that fine ass is on the move.”
“I’m going to ignore the fact you just spoke God’s name in my presence and do my job.” I said while shooting the arrow towards his crush’s ass. After the arrow hit him, I shot Sam.
After ten minutes they both woke up. I was expecting fireworks, dancing, them running towards one another but nothing happened. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.
“Ugggh.. Mr. Satan? What happened did the plan work?”
“To be honest I don’t know. The arrow did hit you both but I don’t see you running towards him or him towards you.”
“Here I thought I could finally ask him his name.”
“You don’t even know his name and you have been following him around for weeks like a lost puppy!”
“Hey calm your horns Mr. Satan, it was love at first fight.”
“You mean sight?”
“No. Fight. F-I-G-H-T fight. I’ll just tell you the story of how we met.”
I wanted to stop him but his heartbroken face made me remember my six hundred and sixty six heart breaks. Damn you heartbreakers i hope you burn in Hell. His story was kind of unique. Cat calling his crush in the middle of the road, him beating Sam to pulp, Sam realising his masochistic tendencies, him meeting a cult selling a book to summon me on the same day and him summoning me. We were so engrossed in his story that we did not realise someone standing beside us. To our surprise it was the crush!
“Hey, this is weird but I wanted to say hi to this cutie right here.”
Sam had turned into stone. Not literally but that kid wasn’t moving.
“Hey kid you’re not Medusa’s son are you?”
“How did you know?”
Well now it was my turn to turn into stone.
“No need to be afraid sir I’m not Medusa’s son I’m just kidding. ”
“Oh well hello kidding I’m Satan. Please undo whatever you did to little Sam here.”
Just as if on cue Sam pushed me out of the way and started speaking to kidding. Weird name for a handsome fellow but who cares my work was done here I can always come back to check upon them and make sure he remembers his end of the deal so with that I made my way back to Hell.
A few years later when I went to check up on Sam, I caught him and kidding in a compromising position and did the only sane thing I could think of – clicking pictures. I was glad they were living happily together I even boasted about finding a cute lover after getting back to Hell. I had spared his soul because he had given me something even better. He made me realize that there was something better than burning and torturing souls in purgatory, that it was not the fire of Hell that could provide me happiness but it was the flames of love that burn your heart and leave a lasting impression. Love is a fire burns within you, it is a desire you surrender to. I’m starting to think that all this fire which burns within me can power all the fiery pits of hell.